It's Time for an Update I'd Say....=)

It's been ages since I've written and I feel like it's time for an update. The last time I had written, I had just seen the musical Wicked. Wanna know something funny? I just saw Wicked last night! Ha!! Crazy how things happen!!

Anyway, I guess a quick summary of my last month in Ireland. Everything went really well. Lots of challenges came my way but God was faithful. I loved getting to know the kids better and working in the cafe. I got to attend a production put on by the kids from the Jez, which was so fun! I got close to a bunch of girls before I left and they were so cute! They'd come in during the lunch hour and look for me and just were so sweet! I was happy to have them come in! They were a bright spot in my day! Oooh, and I can't forget Felipe!! Felipe was this boy who started coming in who made all of us smile! He hadn't heard about the cafe until about a month or so before I left the country. Well, once he found out about he, he absolutely loved it and was in there everyday. Before I left, I got into a conversation with him about God and he said that he believed in God more since he had been coming to the cafe!! Praise God! What an encouragement! That was so fun and he is one of the kids I miss a lot!

It's so hard investing so much in a place then having to say goodbye. I realized the time I spent there wasn't enough to really invest like I wanted to. But I just have to pray that God will take what little bit I did invest and really speak to the kids and change their hearts! I pray each one of them comes to an intimate relationship with Jesus Christ!!

Before I left, I got the chance to take a week holiday in Italy! My friend Taylor lives in Arezzo, which is in Tuscany, and teaches English. It was so fun getting to stay with him for my visit! My old roommate Kira met up with me too! We traveled to places like Cortona (where they filmed the movie Under the Tuscan Sun), Siena, Modena (where Balsamic Vinegar originated), and Rome! I loved it! A week is definitely not enough time to spend in that place! Too many amazing places to see!! I loved the food and the wine was pretty amazing too! Seriously, having great food and wine were probably some of the best memories I had on that trip!! And Taylor taught me to cook a meal called Polenta!! Yes folks, I am actually cooking now!! Who would have thought!! So yeah, Italy was great and words honestly can't describe how incredible it was!

Well, as you can probably figure it out, I am back in the states (back at Taylor in fact). I came back in mid-December and was home for about two weeks before coming back to good 'ole Indiana. It was good to be home and see family and friends again. It was definitely hard though because I have had a lot to process since being home. Once I got home, I was dealing with some culture shock and really missing my friends, not to mention thoughts of certain people who were in my life came back to me as well. I guess the realization of life back home hit me again. I was kind of able to run from it while in Ireland, but now I had to deal with it.

I left to move in to my apartment on Wednesday the 2nd of January. God is so good, I must say. A friend of mine that I did not treat very well last year called me up on my way to Indiana. It was really cold that night and I was going to be in late. (By the way, this girl and I had made a mends and were friends again but I had no idea she was going to call me). Anyway, she told me that whenever I got there that I should call her because she wanted to help me move in. I was shocked that she even offered this to me. I got there, called her, she arrived, we hugged, and it was as if nothing had happened to us in our friendship. We got all my stuff in then I took her to get some coffee. I started talking and began to apologize again for all the things I had done and she told me not to even bring it up, that it wasn't necessary. She said she had already forgiven me and forgotten it. WOW! What an amazing example of Jesus right there....and unconditional love and forgiveness. God has been so good...He has been restoring that friendship and I am so thankful. I am so thankful God has put people like her in my life. If you want to know what true friendship is, this is it. Thank you God for blessing me with a friend like Erin!!!! =)

Like I said before, God is so good and so faithful. He is a God that brings restoration and healing to peoples lives. He also gives us a second chance (and a third, and fourth, and so on..)! I praise God for that. I know I didn't invest in my friends lives last year. I invested in other places and now am reaping the benefits of that. I basically have to start all over but praise God that I still have that opportunity. It's hard though. I am trying to pick up the pieces of the life that I had here and put it back together, without James in it. Being back here has been incredibley hard but I know it's where God wants me. I need to face my problems and struggles head on. I have a lot to work through and still need lots of healing in my life. But praise God, He is patient and faithul and leading me one step at a time. And being back here has made me realize how much I really don't have myself together. I have realized I have a lot of insecurities in my life. Fears of failure and rejection, my own weight issues, caring what other people think about me, etc. I keep asking myself why I am this way. It's bondage and I want freedom. How do I get out of it though? The only way I know is to embrace this junk head on and turn to Jesus. Honestly, I just got this picture in my head of having all these things in my arms (basically junk) just weighing me down. And then I turn to God and he takes them from me. But how does he take them from me? He takes them by me being intentional and spending time with him. By spending time with Him, I get to know His heart and the person that he created (me) and how He delights in me. To be honest, I have realized that my identity is not in Christ. I want it to be but I know it's not. That's what I'm striving for, is knowing and believing that my identity is found in Christ and no one else. The only way I know to do that is to immerse myself in Christ and in His Word. From there, God will completely cover me with who He is and the person I am will be found in Christ. I'm not at that point yet but am striving to be there. Philippians 1:6 says, "being confident of this that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." Praise God! I know God has started this work in me and it will be finished one day. Whether it takes a few months or the rest of my life, God has promised to complete the work He started in me!! I am so thankful that I have that hope. That means I need to continue to persevere and press into Jesus. By pressing into Jesus, that freedom will come!

Something else that has been encouraging to me is the whole idea of the hard times in life. I have realized that we all need them and they are a season in our lives. BUT, if we persevere in them, God will carry us through and help us. We will grow from our circumstances and know that God has allowed whatever has happened to teach and grow me in my relationship with Him. So the encouraging thing is that God allows these things to make me more like Christ! Woohoo!! How exciting!! It's that whole idea of hope again that even though this circumstance really stinks, I know God is faithful and is making me more like Christ through it. And those hard times just make us cling to God even more! So I just praise God because even though life is hard and is not always great, I can still praise Him because I know He is good and faithful! I just can't stop saying it! God is so good and so faithful!! =)

Well, I think that is all for now. I will try to keep this updated a little bit more often. As the weeks go on, the school will probably get a lot harder for me. But I am excited to say that August of this year, I will be graduating from college!!! Yay!! I decided to go ahead and finish a whole year early! I am very excited and looking forward to what's to come after college!! Okay, well God bless and have a great day!!

Love,
Michelle